It's week 38 and although our birthing class instructor told us to keep our eyes on the due date instead of getting excited that he might come early, I've been reading that I could go any day now! My last doctors appointment showed that I was 1 cm dilated and 40% effaced, but his head was still bobbing. This week we've been walking every day, and I've been feeling more and more uncomfortable downward pressure... our next appointment is this Thursday, and I can't help the wishful thinking that I'll be much further along and we will be seeing Joshua's beautiful little face within days! Our bags are packed, car seat installed in the car, room all set up and cleaned, and now we just sit and wait. The only thing left to do is have my mothers day pedicure and then I will be completely ready to go into labor.
The waiting is very difficult, but I'm feeling pretty well these days. The doctors seem to have finally gotten my heart problems under control - not that they figured out what was causing them other than pregnancy, but they put me on beta blockers to ease the racing heart and sleeping pills to put me out in spite of the feelings of anxiety at night. I take lots of naps during the day because I still don't sleep much at night. I've been having some light contractions off and on, been feeling a bit nauseous again, and I pee fifty times a day. But it all comes with so much excitement because it means we're GETTING CLOSER!! I've been reading a lot to pass the time and Tyler has been planting flowers and cleaning up our house because I seem to have entered the "nesting phase" in the sense that I want everything to be clean and organized, but I still don't have the energy to do any of the actual cleaning... my husband is amazing.
The biggest battle now is not to get bored with this time of pregnancy because I've been at it for so long. It has been a beautiful and most amazing experience, but I have to say that now I'm pretty much over it. I LOVE feeling his movements inside me, and I have loved watching my belly get bigger and bigger, but I often have to remind myself how wonderful this feeling is because I get so caught up in wanting to play with him and hold him in my arms see what it's like to look into his sweet little eyes. I videoed my tummy moving last night because I realized that in a couple weeks I won't get to have this feeling anymore... the precious little thumping of his feet against my ribs or the rolling of his bottom from one side to the other. It's all so beautiful and such a glorious gift from God that I don't want to take any part of it for granted. And I sure don't want to forget any of it either.
